Eros…the life instinct.
This afternoon, after laboring for many hours right along with her courageous mom and dad, baby Addison Rose entered this world, and I, as their doula, was an awe-struck witness to this miracle.
Thanatos…the death instinct.
This afternoon, my grandpa doggedly forged a painful path out of his house to get to the barber’s for a hair cut, a hair cut that my dear grandma believes he was grimly determined to get for a particularly painful reason.**
The life instinct.
The death instinct.
I can’t reconcile the two.
My heart is broken with joy over the birth of a baby girl
My heart is ripped painfully in two with gripping fear for my grandpa’s future.
Please bless the life of a precious little girl born to today.
Please bless and preserve the life of my precious grandpa.
A very weary mommy and daddy cannot imagine tonight how their lives ever existed without their pink-wrapped bundle.
A very weary family can’t imagine life without their patriarch, their rock.
**I just talked to my mom, who just went out to my grandparents’ house, and while he is going to go to the hospital again in the morning, she thinks that my grandma is possibly projecting her worst nightmare onto activities that are, in fact, innocent. Perhaps she is being “dramatic,” but no matter what, the fear we constantly walk through is sickeningly palpable.