Two days ago I took Amélie and Jack to the library.  Just taking Jack anywhere in public is always an interesting experience.  He is very loud and very busy, which makes for quite the experience when we go to a quiet place like a library.  Children’s libraries should be sequestered off from the adult section of libraries with either a floor between them (like in our old town), a large atrium area between them (like in Manhattan), or in a room padded with soundproof walls (like in the children’s section at all major insane asylum libraries…just kidding).  He wasn’t naughty at all.  He was just being…Jack.  He thought that doors were for escaping and that the toys were for flinging.  He was also convinced that the toy dinosaurs were going to eat him, and it took much kissing and hugging and talking to the plastic creatures before Jack was convinced that they were benign.  Jack, though, was not the most annoying part of my trip.  He was exasperating, yes, kind of like a puppy dog is exasperating, but he didn’t incite eye-rolling or teeth-gritting.  No, Ms. Perfect Mom of Brilliant Baby did that.

Ms. Perfect Mom had a brilliant baby girl one month younger than my fella.  She was perfect, you see, despite the fact that she pulled Jack’s ears, took away every toy he held, and pushed him.  Here’s how my conversation went with Ms. Perfect Mom of Brilliant Baby:

Ms. Perfect Mom of Brilliant Baby:  So is your son talking yet?
Me:  He says a few words, but mostly he just points and grunts.
Ms. Perfect Mom of Brilliant Baby:  Alex knows at least 30 words, and she’s bilingual.
Me:  Of course.  Oh wow.

Ms. Perfect Mom of Brilliant Baby:  So do you have him enrolled in a gym or music class?
Me:  Uh, no.  Is she kidding?  Does dancing in the living room to Hannah Montana and lying on the floor sacrificing myself as a human jungle gym count?

Ms. Perfect Mom of Brilliant Baby:  So is he interested in potty training?
Me:  You have GOT to be kidding me.  Uh, no.
Ms. Perfect Mom of Brilliant Baby:  Alex does #2 in the potty chair, and she is dry all night and goes to the bathroom when she wakes up. 
Me:  Oh wow.  Is this woman CRAZY? 

Matt asked me if I got her name and number.  Uh, no.  He thinks, though, and he’s right, that somehow I seem to attract those kinds of people as friends.  Thankfully I backed out of this conversation emotionally unscathed and w/o a phone number.  When Amélie was this age, such a conversation might have bothered me.  I probably would have obsessed over her word count, worried that she wasn’t being stimulated enough since I didn’t have her enrolled in some overpriced baby class, or pulled out the potty chair just in case she showed interest.  Not anymore.  It’s so freeing to  So what if Jack speaks his own language, can’t sit still through a story that’s not sung to him, and could care less that his diaper’s full of poop.  He’s perfect to me.  And I’m a good enough mom.  How freeing.

6 thoughts on “whatever…

  1. Jenny says:

    Wow, is that a real person? That is absolutely insane. She’s probably causing some psychological harm by forcing potty training too early. You should’ve told her that. 😉 And that you “read somewhere” that if a child experiences music and movement with their parent at home rather than in a less secure, class setting, it is much more beneficial for their development. (I made that up, but it sounds good to me.)

    Today we were on our way to BK, and Ethan said, “Is my friend, my girl friend [two words] Amelie going to be there?” I explained that you lived in a different city now, and he said, “But I’ll miss her!”

  2. Jill says:

    That’s a really good question, Jenny…Is she really for real? I’m guessing…no. I mean, her little girl probably does poop in the toilet, and I have no reason to believe that she doesn’t have a great (bilingual) vocabulary, but I have to wonder if that little girl is really a little girl…or a project. She was really annoying.
    AND, I forgot to write about the most horrible thing of all that she said to me! (And you, Jenny, and also Kelly will especially appreciate this). She told me that she wasn’t going to have any more kids b/c she just wanted to spoil this one (obviously…did I mention she was a total brat?) and b/c she had 3 brothers and her mom told her that girls were better so to just stick w/ having her one daughter. Can you BELIEVE that? That’s when I really wanted to smack her.

    That’s so sweet about Ethan! I know Amelie liked being able to meet your boys at BK to play. For some reason all the play places around here are closed for repairs.

  3. Faith says:

    Jill, those kinds of people are so annoying! I actually do remember a small window of time when I was a perfect mom with a perfect child. Then God gave us Evan . . . and we were humbled to the core (and still are). See, that is why that woman needs more than one kid! LOL
    I am a little nervous about the whole “Johnson County” … have your kids in a million activities by the time they are three thing… it is so not me. So I will be with you on the learning to not care. 😉

  4. Mel says:

    bluhhgk! puke, puke, puke.

    that’s crazy crappy. her poor child doesn’t stand a chance.

    i’m going to guess that the woman’s brothers are better adjusted than she ever has been. they were left alone and better off for it. i’d ream the grandma first—for telling the woman girls are better. here, here is the curse of generational sin playing out.

  5. lindseylargen says:

    You kill me, Jill. I just read this to Patrick and we were both rolling. I LOVE love LOVE how you write. Oh, and Ms. Perfect Mom of Brilliant Baby is my BFF, so don’t be dissin’ her!

    PS. I just told Patrick what I wrote and he thinks he shouldn’t say it…like you might actually think that Ms Perfect Mom of Brilliant Baby IS my BFF. Um…she’s not 🙂 Let’s play soon! We can take our kids to French class.

  6. Jen says:

    Hi Jill! Just thought I’d check in on your life. 😉 This library post cracked me up. Moms like that drove me nuts even before I had a child. Our latest at the library is a mom who insists bringing her 15-month-old to the two-year-old storytime, even though the 1’s meet 30 minutes earlier, because her child is advanced and knows 100 words (100!). We finally just decided to let her come b/c it wasn’t worth it to keep trying. We decided we should advertise all of our storytimes as “gifted storytime” – except we’d probably get 100 more moms just like this one! PS – Does the grunting ever stop? Wyatt seems to really enjoy that form of communication. Low hopes for an above average vocab here.

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