I hate allergies. I really do. And I try to stay away from allergy medication because it either a.) doesn’t work, b.) makes my heart beat funny, c.) makes me sleepy, d.) makes me loopy, e.) both c & d. What’s worse, though? Trying (ACHOO!) to have a con-(ACHOO!)-versation with (ACHOO!) some-(ACHOO!)-one while sneezing (ACHOO!) approx-(ACHOO!)-imately every 1.5 (ACHOO!) seconds, or trudging through my day feeling like a dope-(SNORE)-head? A couple of weeks ago I tried out a Zyrtec on a Friday evening. My allergies got better, and I really didn’t notice the side effects kick in until Saturday. I basically wandered around my house that day like a lost soul, stopping at times to sit in bewilderment at my dining room table with a cup of caffeine in front of me. This morning I was sneezing, and sneezing, and sneezing, but I thought I’d go for a compromise. Maybe if I took just half a Zyrtec it would take the edge off of the sneezing binges without slowing my body down to the pace of a drugged turtle. It did help with the sneezing, but I.am.so.tired.I.could.rest.my.weary.head.on.this.laptop.right.now.and.blissfully.fall.asleep. So, in a rare moment of lucidity, I decided to look up side effects of Zyrtec on drugs.com, and this is, I swear, what it says:
This medication can cause side effects that may impair your thinking or reactions. Be careful if you drive or do anything that requires you to be awake and alert.
Be careful if I drive or do anything that requires me to be awake and alert? Like drive myself to my yearly echo this afternoon? Or chase around a toddler? Or outsmart a 4-year-old? I am doomed today. Really and truly doomed. I’ve tried to compensate for my lack of energy by eating copious amounts of dark chocolate and gulping cup after cup of coffee, but it’s just not working. I need something stronger. Like a nap.
(I’m going to write about my Manhattan trip, btw, but I think I should only focus on one issue at a time at the moment. Besides, I left my coffee in the kitchen, and if I get up to go get it, I won’t remember what I was doing at the computer anyway.)